WM #7: "Here kitty, kitty!"

Wierd Management #7

I have a great friend who works as a Director of Security for a large East coast retail distribution center. She's worked for this company for many years and is a wonderful storyteller relating illustrative and "weird" analogies to share with her staff. She oversees a mostly male security guards staff with the stressful management obligation of security of a vast variety of merchandise ordered, delivered, and distributed through this huge-a-mongous warehouse. Located in bucolic mid-western Connecticut, you'd think this job would be relatively non-drama but alas - it is NOT! Often she forgivingly hires individuals who are either just-recovered drug addicts, prostitutes, convicts along with laid-off executives, retired military, and college students. It's a mixture of drama and intrigue that should be made into a movie! I often call her during my commute home from work knowing that she will be doing the same to get the latest on her trials and tribulations while on the job that day. It's always entertaining!

This weekend, while visiting for a girls weekend, she shared with me the most recent drama between two security guards who regularly worked together - one male and one female. They became 'deeply involved' and then proceeded to break up shortly there after creating a very uncomfortable work environment not lost on ALL of the employees that make this very busy distribution center roll. The young man caught in the drama with the love-thwarted female guard attempted to avoid her at all cost but my friend knew he had to learn this hard lesson of on-the-job love affair gone wrong and she was going to make sure of it. While he was in her office there was some problem reported over the radio requiring a security guard to go check and help as needed. This young buck knew he'd be asked to go but since he knew the person who was reporting trouble was the broken-hearted, ex-girl friend he wanted to get out of it. He pleaded with my friend to get someone else to go. Nothin' doin' thought my friend! This was a perfect opportunity to share a metaphorical analogy as well as ensure that he thought before he leaped into his next work-place romance.

My friend situated herself comfortably in her director chair and begun to wax poetic toward the young fella.

Cute Kitty!

"You know what happens when a cute stray kitty comes around?"

"Ya?"

"What do you do?"

"Feed it."

"And what does it do after you have fed it?"

"It keeps coming back to get fed."

"So what happens if you stop feeding it?"

"It gets mad and bites you."

"Thats right - so what should you do?"

"Keep feeding it?"

"Well you could but then you are stuck with a cat that you don't really want - right?"

"Right - but I don't want to get bit either!"

"So this is what you do at the very beginning - you sprinkle pepper all around the parameter of your house to keep those cute kitties away! Then you'll never have a problem!"

"Oh - right - Wow! Ok so what do I do now?"

"I don't care what you do but right now, you gotta do what I say - get out there and find out what the problem is."

BAD KITTY!

WM #6 - "I heart my S..T job!"

I saw this placard stuck to a window of a  expensive mid-size SUV parked in assigned college administration parking yesterday:  "I <heart> my S..T job". Along with plethora of bumper stickers promoting a green planet  and a child's car seat, this glaring reminder of how some view their jobs - those that have one - really struck a nerve! I was struck at how ballsy it was to have an assigned parking spot with this statement suction cupped to the back driver side window for eight hours at their s..t job on a campus filled with students who would kill to have a state job in Connecticut with it's bountifully benefits and collective bargaining unit!

Then I was struck by how really angry I was that this person thought it okay to declare this as a "badge of honor" along with self promoting a social consciousness with "Go Green" stickers. A real contradiction during a time of economic upheaval in our country where unemployment continues to ebb and flow. Many students come to me asking whether they should just go to grad school instead of looking for work after graduation. I don't know what to tell them: Go ahead, take more classes and build up more debt versus going out to find a S..T job! It'll be okay."

If I was the president at this school and saw this little sign on another administrators car I'd be scrambling to talk with them; but then maybe I'm a little optomistic that someone in a state-held leadership position would give a damn! As a management expert, I'm consistently surprised by the lack of necessary and simple management skills within many organizations (especially public ones) and how complacent people have become regarding happiness and motivation in ones work. A few years ago I had four French students take my management of organizations course. I require each student to write out goals for the term. All of the American students (mostly seniors) wrote, "Find a good job after graduation." ALL of the French students wrote, "To be happy!" I thought WOW! that is very interesting.

So this little display of angst on a fully loaded, fancy schmancy SUV made me think - we could learn a lot from the French and their pursuit of happiness - maybe we should rethink our S..T jobs! We'll see if management is paying attention!

WM #5 - DWTS Non-Verbal Communications

Weird Management #5
I never thought I'd be a fan of Dancing with the Stars (or as it is lovingly referred to by my sorority sisters on Tweets and Facebook: DWTS)- it seemed to corny and WAY too many people my parents age were watching and raving about it. Yet it's an entertainment phenomenon. This show draws you right in through its orchestrated drama and physicality by pairing HOT dancers with "regular" stars who frustratingly must be transformed from non-dancers to ball room dancers in the span of a few weeks. It's pretty amazing.

So how does this tie into WEIRD management you may be asking? Well I'm getting there.

During this last weeks show Chelsea Kane & Mark Ballas (the front runner in my humble opinion) pulled off an exceptional  paso doble routine but it was met by some harsh criticism by two of the judges. Mark is the professional dancer and the comments by the judges didn't sit well with him. While walking off the dance floor with Disney darling Chelsea in tow he threw in a lewd gesture (I call it the jerk-off gesture).

You can watch it here at Mark's website (which is actually a nice website).
Now I'm surprised the "gesture" was not caught by some of the DWTS pundits who likely would (or maybe did - I'm still looking) rip into Mark for his unprofessional behavior. His Mommy, a professional dancer in her own right who was in the audience, likely gave him a good tongue lashing for it. I think he took a great risk showing his "unprofessional" emotions in such a way knowing that every move he made is being recorded for television! And the chance he takes that the "older" voters rebelled and voting off poor, innocent Chelsea was a big risk (I know it doesn't work that way but you get my gist). I agree - tensions are high and the blood, sweat, and tears that go into grooming a non-dancer into a REAL dancer must be exhausting. Poor little guy! But this serves me in my blog post to illustrate the importance and effectiveness of non-verbal communication.

In our lives we spend so much time looking at the  printed word in our blogs, emails, texts, and multiple other technological mediums that provide us with a plethora of information, yet we rarely see one another to read traditional nonverbal communication like smirks, shrugs, and grimaces. Yet we fail to recognize the power and purpose of nonverbal communications in the ethosphere (yes this is a term) of technological society. Case in point, I was contacted by a newspaper subscription service today asking why I had cancelled my subscription. Quite bluntly I told them, "The report writing sucks and I don't want it any more." The caller hung-up - no response - no inquiry or concern - opportunity lost. The newspaper industry is in a crisis right now dealing with a significant reduction in subscribers and lost revenue - if one of their past subscribers says "it sucks" during a call wouldn't you as the publisher want to know! Okay, I was pretty blunt about my feelings about this product of which I was a customer but many people are reluctant or scared to voice their opinion because our Anglo-Saxon roots tell us it's not polite (well my Norwegian/Swedish mommy told me to never be rude!). This is unfortunate since I think many crappy businesses are still around because customers are afraid to be honest about services.

Yet, nonverbal communications is becoming a hot topic in Customer Service Management (CRM) and software is being developed to ensure that when a consumer is unhappy with something the organization is able to pick up on it through speech analytics. In other words, when a customer logs in to a business website customer interaction is monitored and measure on Web sites, chat threads, survey responses, blogs, product reviews (think of Amazon and Ebay), Twitter, Facebook, to name a few. So here we move from what we say or write to how we say it or write it - a new layer of business communications. But fascinating and an interesting niche market to explore by anyone who thinks they can write code to identify and decipher nonverbal verbal and written communications. Apparently IBM-Netezza - a data warehousing company has developed a widget to help identify and translate consumer angst reducing the number of computer bugs fixed by 67% (Okay - not sure how or why but having worked as a contractor with a company owned laptop - this would be a handy tool to avoid having to contact the help desk every time you need to remember how to map your computer to the nearest copier).

This could be a transformative opportunity for those online organizations who get most of their business from Internet orders. So next time you are on the phone getting jerked around by your bank or an online retailer perhaps even making the "jerk-off gesture" toward the automated or real live customer service agent, they may actually know it! Think about it!

So hows that for WEIRD MANAGEMENT!

WM #4 - "Don't Quit"

Weird Management #4

This is a poem shared by "My Daily Insights" a website that provides daily inspirational quotes. While the site pushes a lot of motivational coaching and other books or product the quotes from this site are particularly good.

Here's the website if you are interested: http://www.mydailyinsights.com/default.asp

 As a manager and a teacher I am always approached by students, workers, friends, and family looking for words of encouragement. This particular poem seems amazing applicable for lifes struggles, tribulations, disappoinments, and trudges toward success. The following poem is particularly appropriate for those  of us dealing with a lot (and who isn't right now!). I hope you enjoy it and share it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit-

Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As everyone of us sometimes learns,

And many a fellow turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man;

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor’s cup;

And he learned too late when the night came down

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out –

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit –

It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Anonymous

WM #3: Tick Season

Weird Management #3

About two weeks ago I was bit by a tick on my left shoulder. Initially I thought the itchy irritation was from a bra that I hadn't worn in awhile (alas yet another petty annoyance of the female species - "bra rash") but when I woke up in the  middle of the night to scratch my right scapula region, sure enough, the little bugger was buried in deep and sucking my precious blood into its turgid little body - ICK! Nothing is more frustrating and embarrassing then having a tick embedded in your skin - on a rating scale of "icky-ness" it's verges on a 7 or 8 next to  a bad case of head lice! Okay - maybe not quite that bad - (both my daughters had head lice while we lived in Hawaii ten years ago and you'd think our house was quarantined for the Bubonic plague! I was surprised bright yellow tape wasn't strewn around my house with "crime scene" printed in bright bold red letters). Anyway - I plucked out the evil bugger and fell back to sleep thinking nothing of it except YUCK! 

A week went by and a quarter size rash developed around my bite area. Again - I attributed it to "bra rash" irritating the region. Then it grew to a half dollar size (for those of you who haven't seen or used change or coins except for an occasional penny on the side walk or a vending maching chocolate bar, it's roughly the size of those dandelions popping up on lawns everywhere). I showed the rash to my husband and he was like "huh - keep an eye on it." (This from the man who regularly bangs his arms, legs, and head into inantimate objects releasing a steady stream of blood into the surrounding region while calmy grabbing a paper towel to squelch the flow saying "OW!"). I had my "lice-free" 21 year old daughter take a look at it and she freaked! "MOM! you have to go to the doctor!" Okay so I took the middle-of-the-road approach and did nothing but decided, "If it gets bigger - Urgent Care - here I come!" It did get worse! Much worse!

So what does this little diatribe have to do with weird management -  so many employees who are poison to an organization and just "suck" the life out of an organization versus contributing and facilitating growth, team work, and comraderie. I have worked and consulted for several organizations that allow this type of ambivilent behavior to occur without taking the initiative or having the guts to rally these people out of the organization through accountability measures or firing them.  It's painful to watch and even more painful the longer an organization waits to do something (like my tick bite which eventually needed to be lanced to remove the ... well, you get the idea). While this may seem a very drastic metaphor for lazy employees it really isn't. Think about it - what is the repercussions to employees who contribute little to nothing to an organization. A culture of non-accountability, cognitive dissonance, low-performing workers and lack of buy-in to organizational mission (if there is one that is regularly touted and reenforced).

Case in point - most government organizations are wrought with a culture of entitlement rewarding employees for just sitting at their desk for the long haul. See the following article regarding longevity and Connecticut non-union state employees: CTNewJunkie.

Connecticut, like most other states, is in a budget crisis and they are doling out these bonuses like Halloween candy to "good workers" in a costume of longevity! REALLY! Longevity bonuses!? Do I get a bonus for being married to the same guy for 25 years? NO! Do I get a bonus for keeping the same car for five years? NO! Do I get a bonus for being a long time customer of a restaurant or frock shop (Well this is for another topic - YES! if you don't reward or recognize your customers some way then you have other issues to deal with). And the bonuses amount to MILLIONS! Wow! Freakin' terrible! Where's the accountability man!?

So just remember your Spring clean-up check up list:  check for "ticks" regularly, erradicate quickly, and keep the surrounding area clean of others who may have picked up bad habits or characteristics of the past tick! If you fail to do so - you may be dealing with a much BIGGER problem down the line! Now that's some WEIRD Management!